A Life Without Love
by crazytuts
Summary: With the death of his girlfriend, Draco raises a hormonal teenager all by himself while working at the Ministry. What happens when he runs into Pansy Parkinson at a store one day and his heart awakens? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

A Life without Love

Any person would say that by the time a normal man reaches his thirties, he would have found a woman to marry, settle in, and have children, but this case does not concern a normal man. It is the pitying story of my life, a life which continues bereft of any flavour while working as the Head of Department of International Sports every day, but perhaps the toughest job I have is raising my eighteen year old daughter.

I was once told that raising a teenager was probably the hardest thing to do as a parent and they were absolutely right about it. If I wasn't spending my time in the Ministry, my presence belonged to finding my daughter, which took hours at a time. It wasn't easy raising a daughter when you were at work for over ten hours. I guess you could call me a workaholic, but for a deep reason, I wanted to spend the least time I could at home, because whenever I stepped into the Malfoy Mansion, old but haunting memories wreaked inside my mind, reminding me of everything I had lost. The only person I had to love and take care of was my daughter, and I prayed that I would never lose her.

Slowly as I approached the back door to my home, I loosened my cloak, ready to throw it over the chair across from the kitchen. From the looks of the house, I knew Portia was home. The same habit as me had possessed her to throw her work clothes over the blue chintz couch. Utensils lay overloaded in the kitchen sink, and my blood boiled to see this sight. All it would have taken her to clean them was a flick of a wand, but she was too apathetic to ever do that.

Where was she? I set my briefcase aside and traveled up the stairs, opening the door to the bathroom first. That girl was in there twenty four hours a day and I could never figure out what she did in there all day. Nope, she wasn't in there. Next, I tried her bedroom. Suddenly I wished I hadn't. I exploded the second my eyes met the scene.

"Portia! You get off him this instant!" I bellowed, my voice echoing through the vast bedroom. Like an electric jolt, Portia and the boy jumped on the bed and turned to face me.

"Dad! What're you doing here?" She instantly grabbed a handful of sheets and covered her chest.

"I think the question should be what are you doing? Get off there now! How dare you-"

"Yes yes. Sorry. I thought you were going to be late today."

"I was, but the meeting got cancelled and I- Nice try changing the subject. And you young man. If I were you, I'd get the hell out before I got a serious beating from a raging father."

The boy mumbled something along the lines of 'don't have to tell me twice', hopped off the bed, put his shirt back on, and stormed out the door in a flash.

"Nice going, Draco."

"Portia, would you call me Dad or Daddy like any other normal child? Calling me by my name truly freaks me out." I bent down to snatch her shirt and threw it to her.

"After that, hell no. Besides, you call be by my name so I should do the same. Try calling me daughter every time you see me."

"Whatever. Just get your clothes on. You should be ashamed of yourself, doing such things."

Portia gave a fake laugh, "Yeah, like you didn't do them at my age."

"That's different. I'm a man and there are no lasting consequences for me."

"Oh, not that double standard again. We are living in the twenty-first century, you know. Look around. Everyone does it."

"I don't care if the whole world does it, and don't think that's going to get you out easily. You're not to go anywhere besides work for the next month."

"What? Draco!" Portia fumed, striking back the sheets and climbing out of her bed.

What am I going to do with this girl? She's eighteen but still can't live on her own feet.

"Draco, I'm eighteen years old! You can't bloody ground me!"

"As long as you live in this house I can, which brings up a great conversation. Have you thought about moving out and getting an apartment?"

I was just playing a game. I didn't really want her to move out, but just said it because it would bring a cringe to her face.

"Once I make enough money, I will, I promise you."

"And that will be…never. Child, you need to learn to live independently. It's the only way you'll learn a few things about life and the real world.

"Alright, you really need to stop calling me child. The last time I informed you, which was like half a minute ago, is that I'm eighteen years old. I can do anything I want, have sex with whoever I want."

This triggered my brain, "Speaking of that, who was he?"

"What do you mean?" She gave him a puzzled look.

"I mean, who is he? A boyfriend, a husband I don't know about, a stripper?"

"Draco! Stop the nonsense! If I told you, you'd just blow up again."

"Which means that it's not good. Fine then. Keep your secret. Get dressed. We're going to the supermarket and I need you to tell me what we're missing."

"The Muggle one."

"Yeah. We need some food and I don't feel like going far. Now get dressed and put a smile on your face."

As I walked out of the room, I heard mimicking voices, "I heard that!"

What a disaster. How could she have been doing that in their house? I couldn't wait for her to grow up and take responsibility for herself. If only Sonya was alive today, then I wouldn't have to do this alone…However, I couldn't forget that it was because of me that she was dead…I could never forget it. The thought entered my head every day and I wished a million times that I could go back in time and change everything, especially myself.

Sure I had found a woman and gotten a child but it wasn't the way I wanted it to be. I never loved the woman I accidentally impregnated and never married and settled down with her. The only reason why I went back was to claim my daughter because Sonya died in childbirth. Before that, I had abandoned her. At least I had gotten one principle right because I would never let my child get adopted or live in an orphanage. The lack of love from my own parents had taught me so. They had chosen to focus more on their loyalties to the Dark Lord rather than love their son, and where had they ended up? One was murdered and the other had committed suicide. I didn't want history to repeat itself so I promised myself I would love my daughter as much as I could, but unfortunately, that had backfired. I realized the time when Portia starved herself until she got this stupid doll that I had spoiled her. When she learned that I had abandoned her mother when I found out she was pregnant, Portia stopped calling me Dad. The past five years had been spent trying to undo all the special treatment but it wasn't working well.

"Portia! Get down here!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, and added, "And don't Floo anywhere!"

Five minutes later, Portia came down the stairs in some highly inappropriate clothes.

"Hey, we are going to the market, not a pub."

"What if I run into some luscious guys? I have to be ready, Draco."

"Alright, I did not need to know that."

"You're the one who brought it up."

"Fine. Whatever. You're never going to change. We're going."

We both Disapparated to an empty alley right behind the supermarket. Night was almost here with the clouds diminishing and the sun diving beneath the low hills. The supermarket was only one of the few buildings around the suburban area that actually had some decent food and equipment.

"I don't know what kind of guys lurk here."

"Maybe they work here."

"That would make them Muggles."

"And your point is?"

"Portia! You can't mess around with Muggles! They're filth, I tell you. Stay away from them. Wait a minute," I said, suddenly thinking of something, "Was that guy a Muggle?"

"Yeah, sure."

"What!"

"Draco, don't freak out. You'll get a heart attack."

"Yes, then I'll be lucky." I muttered.

The store was extremely big compared to others. There were over thirty aisles that extended past a hundred meters with anything a person needed.

"We need…some pork, gravy, jam, bread, eggs…" Portia said as we went from aisle to aisle and filled the cart. She was in charge of the food and cooking while I did all the other chores in the house. Along the way, Portia grabbed a packet called 'tampons'.

"What is that?"

"You don't want to know."

"Yes I do. I want to know where my money is going."

"Fine. See, when a girl reaches puberty at around the age of fourteen or fifteen, she experiences different things and-"

"Never mind, I got it." I held out a hand in protest and was sorry I ever asked.

About a half an hour later, we went to the front counter to pay for everything but found ourselves in the midst of a long line of people with filled carts. Oh, we were going to be here a while.

"We should use magic to get through." Portia whispered to me.

"Are you insane? We would get exposed." I shook my head.

"Whatever you say, Ministry official."

After the time we spent in the never ending line I was even tempted to pull out my wand. When it was down to us and a curly black-haired woman in front of us, I thought we would get out soon, but this wasn't the case. After all her items were checked out, she made a fuss over one of them, saying that it wasn't the same price on the label. When the worker said the price had expired, she demanded her money back. I saw Portia roll her eyes and tap the woman on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, could you hurry up? You're holding back the entire line."

Her hair bounced as the woman turned around to snap at Portia, "I am entitled to take up as much time as I want, thank you."

But then, her eyes slid to my face and widened, "Draco?"

"Hey." I said, trying to keep my voice as normal as I could. I was amazed at who I was standing in front of. Pansy was as a stunning and unique beauty as ever, with the longest hair, appearing as if it had never been cut.

Her attention traveled back to Portia, "Oh my…is this your daughter?"

I nodded, as Portia said, "Old friend, Draco?"

Pansy frowned, "Okay…"

"Hi. I'm Portia-Pansy Malfoy." Portia stuck out her hand and Pansy took it reluctantly. I felt like hitting Portia on the head for saying her whole name.

"This is Pansy Parkinson. We were in school together." I told Portia, and suddenly her eyes widened.

"You named me after her?" Portia said, absolutely stunned. Pansy stood there awaiting an answer also. I had a feeling that event the cashier was listening in.

"No, of course not. Your mother really liked the name and I liked Portia so we combined it as one." I lied, and I was pretty sure Portia knew it. Her mother was dead long before they could decide on any names and it was actually the other way around. Sonya had always liked the name Portia.

"I see." Pansy said suspiciously, with her arms folded, "So what have you been up to? I haven't seen you in a whole decade."

"I'm fine, you?" Even if she was older, she hadn't lost the glamour from her eyes and lips. There were a few wrinkles here and there, but as far as I saw it, they weren't there. My, she was so pale…almost as pale as a ghost…

"Oh, I'm grand."

"Excuse me." The cashier interrupted, and Pansy looked at her.

"Well then, I'll see you around." I said, not knowing what else to say.

"Nonsense, Draco," Portia intervened, "You should come to our house for dinner tomorrow, Pansy, and catch up with Draco, you know. What do you say?"

"Your house?" Pansy said, looking confused.

"Malfoy Mansion." I clued her in.

"Oh, I see. Alright then. I'll see you tomorrow."

I nodded in agreement and Pansy turned around to face the cashier.

"Draco." Portia said.

"What?"

"You're blushing beet red."

I took a deep breath, but it was just as unsteady as my heart. For the first time in years, my heart was feeling something special and pounding away like mad.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I was nervous. That was something new to me. Throughout my life, I had never thought twice about anything or doubted my actions. And now my daughter had just invited the person I hadn't talked to over a decade. What would I say to her? I didn't think we would have much to talk about because of the numerous years apart. The momentous thoughts and feelings had drifted from my heart. I couldn't remember the last time I had thought about her romantically.

Of course, we had been a 'thing' for some times, but that relationship had been based on a physical level. No wonder my daughter took the same route…I never saved the time to speak to her about such things and help her prevent the mistakes that I had made. If only I had possessed caring and involving parents in my life, I would have been a different person today.

It was funny how I received a tiny grain of wisdom when I went past thirty years old. What some said was right: the older you were, the more experience and wisdom you had. In my teens, I would have never believed the man I would become. I had never planned on getting married, having a daughter, or working at the Ministry. Life sprang amazing surprises on people.

To impress Pansy, I turned to a co-worker for help and borrowed his house-elf for one evening. He and the elf came to the house (she wouldn't take my orders), and on his command, she tided up the living room and kitchen, and cooked a full dinner in an hour. I was own. I sure could use them so I would be able to use the extra time to rest. I did not wish for any more wrinkles.

I didn't think much of my attire on a normal basis, so I just put on a regular old cloak that I wore around the house on weekends. I thought it was fine, but Portia had a different opinion.

"What-are-you-wearing?" She mouthed as I caroused down the staircase casually. I took a look at myself, brushing both sides of the cloak, and glanced back at her. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Your childhood friend is coming to dinner and that's what you wear? Look at me. Perfectly dressed for the occasion."

"You dress like you're attending a wedding everyday. Can't compare yourself to me."

Portia waved her straightened hair and patted her velvet shirt, "But seriously, wear something nicer?"

"A friend is coming, not my fiancé." I shook my head.

"That's what you think." Portia murmured, loud enough for me to hear.

"What was that? Now, don't come up with any smart ideas. She's just an old friend. Got it?"

As she headed to the kitchen, she commented, "Maybe…"

Again, I shook my head. I should have expected this. That was what daughters did when their fathers were single and lonely. Either that or they tried to drive the girlfriends away. I would have taken that option over the latter any day.

I followed Portia into the kitchen. She waved her hands to the house elf and said, "That'll be all, Pipsy. Thanks for the help."

"Where's Boni?" I asked.

"Outside on the porch, I think."

I nodded, and went that way. There he was. I could see him past the prolonged lavender-colored blinds. Opening the door, I stepped outside and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Your house elf's ready to go. You sure you don't want to stay for dinner?"

"No. Millie's makin' something special today. Say again, who's comin' over for dinner?" He asked.

"Old friend. I ran into her at the supermarket."

His eyebrows rose, "'Her'? What's her name?"

"Pansy."

Boni produced a thinking expression and trailed, "Pansy…Pansy…Why does that name ring a bell…? Aha! She's the woman who you embarrassed in front of everyone."

I stopped dead.

"How did you know about that?"

"You told me. Years ago."

"And you still remember? Wow, what a friend…"

"So? Any sparks gonna fly?" Boni smirked.

"Shut up. We're old now, not teenagers. All of that is in the past."

"Some feelings never go away, my brother. You'll know when she comes."

I folded my arms in attitude, only because I knew he was right. The guy was as sharp as a shark's teeth. I had known him for over five years and he was actually a person I could refer to as a friend….Before he mentioned it, I had never thought about that regretful day. That was another unique thing about Pansy. Only she could make me regret my actions.

I was sitting lazily in the couch over by the fire on Saturday afternoon in our seventh year at Hogwarts. Over the years, I had put my name on the soft material and no one dared to cross me. Occasionally, a first or second year would sit on it but they would quickly learn by a flick of my wand. Basically, I was the king of Slytherin. Everyone obeyed me and were intimidated by me. That day, I became even a bigger emperor when one luscious girl visited my couch. I had kept my eye on her for the past month or two but hadn't approached her, only waiting for her to notice me, and then I would talk to her. She was a seventh year too, and the reason I hadn't noticed her before was because she'd been an ugly pimple faced girl who had her nose buried in the Defense against the Dark Arts books. But this year was different. She was a goddess. She made the simplest school robes into sexy clothes, and of course, my eye went completely to her.

Her gait was so sexy. Her hips swayed left and right as she came over slowly. I brushed a hand through my hair and sat up.

"Hello."

"Hey Rosie. You alright?" I said in a cool manner.

"Oh, yeah. Can I sit here?' She pointed to the spot next to me. I nodded and she relaxed on the couch, her black flowing hair lying back on the edge.

"Wow, you certainly have changed for the better."

Rosie giggled like a little girl. "Why, thanks Draco. You don't look so shabby yourself."

I gave her my stunning smile that never faltered. For a moment, we just stared at each other without uttering a word.

"You know, our Hogsmeade trip is coming up." Rosie hinted, giving me an irresistible eye.

"So you want to go with me?"

"It might have been on my mind." Her finger reached for my shirt (underneath the robe) and she stroked my chest softly.

I laughed. It was cute the way she had said it. "I'll meet you at the gate then."

She nodded and continued, "What do you plan to-"

And the thunder came. "Excuse me? What did you just say?" Pansy stormed, loud enough for everyone's heads to turn and find out what was happening.

"What's the matter, Pansy?" I said in an even voice, fully aware that Rosie was still on me. A gigantic thunderstorm was about to land.

"What's the matter? I'm not a damn fool, Draco Malfoy! I just heard you ask her to the Hogsmeade trip."

"Actually, she asked herself." I corrected her, but that didn't better the situation.

"Right, and that's why you're letting her crawl over you."

"You have a problem with that?" I said, louder than before.

"Yes, I have a problem! We are together, Draco, together! You can't just go off and screw other girls!"

"Whoa whoa, cool your pantyhose, woman. We are not 'together', we never were, and never will be. I am perfectly entitled to talk to whom ever I wish. Now leave us alone."

"Hey. Hey!" Pansy called Rosie. She turned her attention on the girl in front of her with a baffled expression.

"Get your fake carrot-colored hands off of him."

"Pansy, that's enough! You have no right to interrupt us. You're a toy to me, you got that? A toy. Now wheel yourself out of here."

In mere seconds, tears were about to well up in Pansy's enraged eyes. Without bothering to look at the audience, she ran off straight past the door.

I didn't feel it then, but when I lay in my bed at night, thinking about what had happened, those uncomfortable twitches of guilt encountered me before I dozed off to sleep. I had said the most horrible thing to her. Why did I have to open my big mouth? Well, because she was being down right rude and nosy with you, said a voice in my head. But still, that was no reason to say that to her, said another voice.

I think that was when Pansy and I drifted apart. I did apologize to her, but she never truly forgave me. I guess that was the price to pay for comparing her worth to a toy. In reality, she was worth more than anything. Pansy wasn't all that different from me. She had been arrogant, selfish, rude, and uncaring back in school. That must have been why we got along so well. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she used me just as I used her. She had the advantage of telling people that I was her boyfriend, and I got a wonderful reward in return.

"Hmm…maybe I should stay for a while and see what this woman's about that's got you dreamin' in the day."

"Huh?" I fell out of my reverie instantly, and as Boni cackled madly, I punched him, "Very amusing. Fine, you can stay if you'd like. I owe it to you because of the house elf. Just don't say anything idiotic."

"I won't. So…what does she look like?"

"Uh…long dark hair, dark eyes, and pale skin. She's chubbier now, I think…pretty tall."

"I see…"

"Draco, Boni, she's here!" Portia called out to us, and once again, I got a tickly feeling in my heart. The beats weren't heavy, but just aware that…

"'Draco'? You really need to fix that girl of yours." Boni declared, as they walked back inside.

"I know, man. I'm trying."

We hurried to the front door. Soon, an old Pansy was facing me with a smile on her face, different from her earlier years. That one had been smug and had expressed that she owned her surroundings, a kind of dominant façade. This new one said that she felt welcome and nervous at the same time. It turned out that Pansy followed Portia's style of dressing. She seemed to have put on her best robe, a long fading pink one with rhinestones on the collar. I averted my attention from her quickly. I didn't want her to think I was a pervert.

Boni and Portia both looked at me. Then I realized they were waiting for me to introduce her.

"Oh! Come on in, Pansy. You remember my daughter Portia, and this here is Boni Andrews, my co-worker."

They shook hands politely and said their hellos, and after that, I escorted them into the dining room, where all the food was already placed on the mahogany table. Everything from A to Z was there, and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. When I went to get some drinks, Boni followed me into the kitchen.

"She looks great. You gonna try to get her back?"

"What? No. She's a friend."

"Alright. Whatever you say. Well, I gotta leave now. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Bye, then."

…

"So, Draco, what do you do these days?" Pansy asked me as we started eating.

"I work at the Ministry. It's not the most exciting job in the world, but the money gets us well on our way."

"Really? That's funny, I never really see you there. I'm occasionally in and out of the Ministry."

"Well, my affairs are mostly internal. What about you?"

"I practice residential potion-making. I try new potions, you know, cures to diseases, viruses, and curses. I often have to go to the Ministry to test and legalize them. Like yours, my work's not as exciting as it sounds."

"Yes, I can tell."

"So, how did you know Draco? Were you best buddies?" Portia piped up.

I glared at her.

"What? It's a valid question." Portia defended herself.

Pansy laughed, "Yeah, it's fine. I'm sure your father didn't tell you or maybe he denied it, but we used to be an item at Hogwarts. It ended roughly, though. We just lost touch."

I felt my cheeks redden. I couldn't believe we were on this subject already.

"Oh. I'm sorry." Portia said, although it didn't look like she was.

"Don't be. It happens. People go their separate ways al the time. It's a fact of life."

"Have you got a boyfriend? Husband? Children?" I asked.

"I'm single right now. I did marry once, but it did not work out."

"That's too bad."

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened to her mother-?"

"She passed away while giving birth." I said in a low voice.

"I'm so sorry. I think I read about it in the paper, but wasn't sure…"

After that risky conversation, dinner went smoothly. We spent more attention on our food than our words, although we did occasionally talk about Pansy's family, the Ministry, people we knew from Hogwarts, and other normal things.

"Wow. That was a wonderful dinner. Did you make it, Draco?"

Portia made a doubtful noise as I said, "No, a house elf made it. I could never cook. You know that."

Pansy grinned, "I'll be right back. Need to use the bathroom."

"Do you need me to show you where it is?" Portia politely offered.

"Are you kidding? I practically grew up in this house during the summers. Be right back." And with that, she was off.

"Really…?" Portia said, as if she was still talking to Pansy, and then sat down.

"Don't get any ideas, for Merlin's sake." I begged her.

"Oh, I'm no, but I think you are." She pointed her finger at me, "You're still in love with her."

"Portia! I was never in love with her."

"That is what you think. Anyone could tell. You asked her if she had a boyfriend, and you blushed when she said you two were together. Oh my god, that is so great!"

I shook my head, and as she stood up again, I jerked my head, "Where are you going?"

"To my room. I do not want to disturb you two." She hopped right out of the kitchen. I called her name so many times but she still didn't return. My crying time was over when Pansy made her way back into the dining room.

"Where'd Portia go?" Pansy looked at the door and back to me."

"I have no idea. She said something about leaving us alone." Oh, what a stupid thing to say.

She chuckled and sat down. Embarrassingly, I smiled, not knowing what else to say. This was going to be an interesting night.


End file.
